Who needs birth control reminders…

…when you have a toddler who has regular temper tantrums.

Seriously. That’s reminder enough for me to take my daily dose.

It seems we have entered the phase of temper tantrums full force. It has taken a toll on me today. One minute she’s the cutest, sweetest kid you’ve ever seen in your life (and I’m not just saying that because I’m her mother and I’m biased…ok maybe a little, but she’s completely adorable!). Then, faster than you can blink, she’s gone all Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde on your ass and it’s like… “Whose kid is this!?!?!”

Maybe if I can teach her to do it on command, she could make herself a few bucks.

Maybe if I can teach her to do it on command, she could make herself a few bucks.

For example, today she was playing with her little plastic kitten. She had a stretchy bracelet that she was attempting to put around it’s neck like a necklace. She was standing there trying, unsuccessfully for many minutes, and becoming visibly increasingly frustrated. So I finally spoke up.

Me: “Hey L, would you like Mama to help?”

L: Running over enthusiastically with a smile on her face. Shakes head yes, and hands both over to me.

I put the bracelet on the cat’s neck like a necklace and go to hand it back to her.

She smiles, reaches out for it, takes it in her hands and then throws it across the length of the room while simultaneously dropping herself to the floor. Let the screaming, kicking, and full body throws of unbalanced emotions begin.

Oh crap. Remind me to keep her away from my car.

Oh crap. Remind me to keep her away from my car.

I’m meanwhile, just sitting there watching in amazement at the many ways my daughter can contort her body. I mean, I don’t want to give in and give her attention as it will just be negative reinforcement for her behaviour.

So I sat back and watched the show. When she realized that nobody was really paying her any attention she finally sat up and looked at me. This conversation ensued:

Me: “Are you finished?”

L: Crossed arms, hung head, and a pout. No words.

Me: “If you’re finished, please stand up and go pick up your cat.”

I know this is bound to go on for years to come. Thankfully my fiance came home tonight with a chocolate bar weighing 400g’s, and as long as my forearm. I’m going to need it!

I’m not quite sure how else to handle it really. This is a new phase. Do any of you have any suggestions on how to handle the meltdowns and make them less frequent?

(I’ve got the chocolate and wine handled, but that’s more for me after she’s gone to bed).

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26 thoughts on “Who needs birth control reminders…

  1. I’m not sure how old your little one is, but Alex is 2.5 and ignoring him worked wonders and he rarely throws tantrums anymore. Nick however is 16 months and ignoring him just results in him hitting his brother until his brother starts hitting back and I have no choice to intervene :/

  2. I hit reply before I was done… anyways… ignoring her could work for you with any luck, but hopefully you get some advice I can steal and use in my house too!

  3. i have 5 kids and roughly 4 tantrums a day lol usually when one starts i let him/ her go at it and take the other 4 to another room and do a craft or read a book … something were the one taking the tantrum gets no attention from anyone and the when he/she is ready to talk i go talk with them

    • Oh geez.
      I think if I had five kids, you’d find me tucked away in a corner, a mere fragment of the woman I am now. I honestly don’t think I could manage – kudos to you!
      That’s kind of the approach I’m hoping to take – ignore until she has a handle on herself, and then talk it out and correct behaviour.
      Unless of course it happens in public (knock on wood, it hasn’t yet). In that case, I think I’ll be at a loss and will probably resort to the “scoop up and leave the area” tactic.

      • It’s not that hard really lol … grant u I have my days … our 10 year old is autistic and the 8 Year old is adhd other then that we have 2 6 year olds and a five year old … lol but I really couldn’t be happier. They really do complete me πŸ™‚ they keep me bitsy and fit as a fiddle that’s for sure

  4. No quick fix I’m sad to say…the only bit of advice is the “oxygen mask” philosophy: ensure you put the mask on YOU first, stay well, rested and happy, so you can be calm in those tough moments. Oh and that great one: this too shall pass!

    • HAH! I’ve flown in a plane many a time, but never thought to apply the “oxygen mask” philosophy to every day life – I love it!

      All the more excuse to say to the fiance, “I’m sorry sweetie, I actually HAVE to leave and go have a soak in the tub with a glass of wine and leave you with the kiddo”.

      That might be my favourite approach yet! πŸ˜‰

  5. My daughter just turned 22 months and we’ve been going through the exact scenario you described for about a month or two now. I find the tantrums usually stem from some lack of independence (i.e. in your case, why wasn’t she able to put the necklace on the kitty herself but Mommy can do it no problem?) This same thing happens to us constantly…M wants help, but then gets mad when the help is granted. I also try the ignore technique and it does sort of work in that she doesn’t want to be touched or calmed down…I am also interested in similar advice lol.

  6. You handled it great and I agree with everyone, ignoring seems to work best. Then, once I’ve ignored and my son (almost 2) is still being stubborn, I do the “hug it out” method. That usually helps us move on pretty well. Good luck. Tantrums suck!

  7. It sounds like you are on the right track. We NEVER reward temper tantrums, and in some cases they got time outs for throwing them. That all worked really well for us….until all of a sudden it didn’t, which coincidentally is what I blogged about today.

  8. I swear every time I think we are ready for another baby my kids remind me there’s no reason to go schedule that appointment for IUD removal. Lol.

  9. Mentally beat her a** and in real life, put her in another room or area away from the action and tell her she can come back when she stops. I went through it with my son at the age of 3-it was horrible so I totally feel your frustration. To this day if his behavior isn’t kosher, we tell him to go in the other room until he can act right.

  10. Omg I totally feel you. I thought it was Terrible 2’s… that spill over to some Terrible 3’s… but then I find out that I’ve reached a new high with the Feisty 4’s! I used to do a lot of ignoring in the early years, but now that my daughter is 4 and can comprehend a lot more and is learning what to do with all the emotions that she feels… I’ve had to switch up my parenting response a bit. I’m a new follower to your blog. Love your writing. Visit me here: http://mommyneurotic.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/what-is-with-the-4-yr-old-tantrum/

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