This photo, I found circulating on Pinterest made me realize that I’m not alone in feeling as though I can’t live up to the impossible standards being flaunted around on the internet.
Becoming a mother has been, without any doubt or hesitation, the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. My little L lights up my entire world. She is beyond a shadow of a doubt, my greatest accomplishment in life.
Being a Mom, however, comes with a whole host of challenges. The biggest ones being the standards we hold ourselves to.
Who can blame us, really? People don’t talk about their challenges, their failures, their breakdowns, or the shortcuts they take. All we hear is how wonderful life is, how perfect their kids are, etc. So when we fall, we feel like failures.
Guess what ladies? PERFECTION IS BORING!
I’ve come to terms with being an (im)perfect Mom.
Things in my life that are (im)perfect, or I do (im)perfectly, and don’t have any shame in include:
– I buy frozen pancakes made lovingly by Aunt Jemima. Who am I kidding, she probably makes them better than I could. The time I save in the morning is crucial to my sanity. Besides, I make sure I get the ones that are whole grain.
-I buy pre-cooked roasted chickens at the grocery store. I don’t have time to roast a damn chicken by myself after work and still get my kid fed and to bed on time.
-Sometimes, rarely, a Happy Meal makes a Happy Mom.
-Some nights, when I have no idea what I’m going to feed myself, little L gets “toddler finger food surprise” for dinner – usually consisting of some chickpeas, cut up cheese, some grapes, crackers, apples, etc. Basically a bunch of random finger foods thrown together. She loves it, it’s quick, and I make sure she’s got a bit of everything (protein, fruit, veg, etc.). Win-win for a tired Mom who doesn’t want to cook that night! Woot!
– I don’t pre-plan my meals a week in advance, and I shop on the fly. Pre-planning everything would take time and effort. Both things I wish I had more of, but I don’t.
– My kid does not get a bath every single night. Mostly because she has sensitive skin and bathing every night can dry her out. So every 2-3 nights works best for her. Do I secretly like that it can’t be an every night routine? Hell yes!
– I don’t make my own baby wipes, baby butt cream, peanut butter, Christmas cards/wrapping paper. I don’t make my own mosquito/bug repellant or know all of the uses of every essential oil for home remedies. Do I wish I were more like Martha Stewart? OMG Yes. Am I ever going to be? Probably not. I’m all about convenience and saving time. Making all that shit doesn’t seem like it would give me any more time, just take precious time away to make shit that I can buy at a store with a lot less effort.
– I don’t keep my cool 100% of the time. I let my emotions get a hold of me. I raise my voice sometimes, and catch myself. Then I feel horrible and guilty. I work all day and don’t have much time with sweet L, so I try to make the time I have with her happy and fun. Sometimes though, I’m not a fun Mom.
– Sometimes I cry for no reason (or for ALL of the reasons – all of the reasons you can’t think of or verbalize at the time because you’re too focused on how you’re crying and don’t want to be that Mom who breaks down and cries). Superwoman, I am not. Wonderwoman, I wish I were. But who doesn’t want this kind of confidence?
– My sweatpants/Yoga pants are my go to attire. (Who am I kidding, I actually call them my “Fat” pants.). The Fat pants are spoken about lovingly by me. As in “Ohhhh yeah, home from work! Time to put on my fat pants!”. I don’t dress nice enough for my man. But sometimes (ok almost all of the time), comfort wins. I’m probably never going to be the mom who dolls herself up in her fanciest lingerie, face full of makeup, and perfectly done hair every day. If I manage to shower every day, I’m taking it as a win.
Am I perfect? Far from it. Do I wish I were better at things? All the time. Do I hold myself to standards that are too high? Most likely. We all tend to.
So this is going to be my conscious effort from now on. To embrace my imperfections. To know they don’t make me a bad Mom. To know that even if other Mom’s aren’t saying it or talking about it, we all have our days, we all have our limitations, but we all have our strengths. We need to focus more on the strengths, and less on the comparisons to others.
Being (im)perfect isn’t so bad.