To us, the (im)perfect Moms.

1352562720450_1717891

This photo, I found circulating on Pinterest made me realize that I’m not alone in feeling as though I can’t live up to the impossible standards being flaunted around on the internet.

Becoming a mother has been, without any doubt or hesitation, the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. My little L lights up my entire world. She is beyond a shadow of a doubt, my greatest accomplishment in life.

Being a Mom, however, comes with a whole host of challenges. The biggest ones being the standards we hold ourselves to.

Who can blame us, really? People don’t talk about their challenges, their failures, their breakdowns, or the shortcuts they take. All we hear is how wonderful life is, how perfect their kids are, etc. So when we fall, we feel like failures.

Guess what ladies? PERFECTION IS BORING!

I’ve come to terms with being an (im)perfect Mom.

Things in my life that are (im)perfect, or I do (im)perfectly, and don’t have any shame in include:

– I buy frozen pancakes made lovingly by Aunt Jemima. Who am I kidding, she probably makes them better than I could. The time I save in the morning is crucial to my sanity. Besides, I make sure I get the ones that are whole grain.

-I buy pre-cooked roasted chickens at the grocery store. I don’t have time to roast a damn chicken by myself after work and still get my kid fed and to bed on time.

-Sometimes, rarely,  a Happy Meal makes a Happy Mom.

-Some nights, when I have no idea what I’m going to feed myself, little L gets “toddler finger food surprise” for dinner – usually consisting of some chickpeas, cut up cheese, some grapes, crackers, apples, etc. Basically a bunch of random finger foods thrown together. She loves it, it’s quick, and I make sure she’s got a bit of everything (protein, fruit, veg, etc.). Win-win for a tired Mom who doesn’t want to cook that night! Woot!

– I don’t pre-plan my meals a week in advance, and I shop on the fly. Pre-planning everything would take time and effort. Both things I wish I had more of, but I don’t.

– My kid does not get a bath every single night. Mostly because she has sensitive skin and bathing every night can dry her out. So every 2-3 nights works best for her. Do I secretly like that it can’t be an every night routine? Hell yes!

– I don’t make my own baby wipes, baby butt cream, peanut butter, Christmas cards/wrapping paper. I don’t make my own mosquito/bug repellant or know all of the uses of every essential oil for home remedies. Do I wish I were more like Martha Stewart? OMG Yes. Am I ever going to be? Probably not. I’m all about convenience and saving time. Making all that shit doesn’t seem like it would give me any more time, just take precious time away to make shit that I can buy at a store with a lot less effort.

– I don’t keep my cool 100% of the time. I let my emotions get a hold of me. I raise my voice sometimes, and catch myself. Then I feel horrible and guilty. I work all day and don’t have much time with sweet L, so I try to make the time I have with her happy and fun. Sometimes though, I’m not a fun Mom.

– Sometimes I cry for no reason (or for ALL of the reasons – all of the reasons you can’t think of or verbalize at the time because you’re too focused on how you’re crying and don’t want to be that Mom who breaks down and cries). Superwoman, I am not. Wonderwoman, I wish I were. But who doesn’t want this kind of confidence?

wonder-woman

– My sweatpants/Yoga pants are my go to attire. (Who am I kidding, I actually call them my “Fat” pants.). The Fat pants are spoken about lovingly by me. As in “Ohhhh yeah, home from work! Time to put on my fat pants!”. I don’t dress nice enough for my man. But sometimes (ok almost all of the time), comfort wins. I’m probably never going to be the mom who dolls herself up in her fanciest lingerie, face full of makeup, and perfectly done hair every day. If I manage to shower every day, I’m taking it as a win.

Am I perfect? Far from it. Do I wish I were better at things? All the time. Do I hold myself to standards that are too high? Most likely. We all tend to.

So this is going to be my conscious effort from now on. To embrace my imperfections. To know  they don’t make me a bad Mom. To know that even if other Mom’s aren’t saying it or talking about it, we all have our days, we all have our limitations, but we all have our strengths. We need to focus more on the strengths, and less on the comparisons to others.

Being (im)perfect isn’t so bad.

 

 

 

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “To us, the (im)perfect Moms.

  1. I love your blog J! You may be a new mom but you have your head on straight and are doing an awesome job. Your blog lets all moms realize its ok to not be a super women being a good mom is all that matters !!
    I have been a mom for 28 years and I still am learning new things everyday with my grand babies, it’s a never ending educational experience !! Keep blogging J I look forward to reading them.
    Sincerely

    Wanda

  2. Nailed it! Nobody talks about it but my lord we need more blogs like this that do. Makes me think I’m not doing a terrible job, I’m just normal. My boys almost ten months, but with all these moms going organic, natural and making things themselves I feel like I’m letting down my boy by not doing those things as well.. This definitely made me rethink my view on myself. I’m not a bad mom, I’m just one mom out of many. And now, I’m ok with that.

  3. I just have to say, I LOVE your blog, I couldn’t relate more to it all..it is nice knowing I am not alone. I have an almost 2 year old, and she relates a lot to your Little L.

    Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 21:14:41 +0000 To: m_muench@hotmail.ca

    • It’s so so true! Our time is precious enough and if we spend it obsessing and trying to reach perfection, we just constantly feel like we are failing. It doesn’t make for a happy parent, which doesn’t make for a good relationship with your kids.
      🙂

  4. I love the way you look at things! I say, as long as we’re healthy and happy, the rest is just personal preference. 😉

  5. Haha this is awesome, I love all your imperfections; mainly because I have them as well. The only difference is I do make crafts etc…but I do that to avoid my dishes…that is my shame 😉 a disgusting kitchen, and once I started this crafting to avoid cleaning, I realized that must be how all the other moms or there do it!

  6. My “baby” is 19, so I’ve been at this a while. (The other two are soon to be 21 and 24.) Even after all these years it still all rings so true.

    “If I manage to shower every day, I’m taking it as a win.” ~ YES! Even still. In fact, I told my therapist recently (Yes, I have one of those. And I am not ashamed.) that I often become resentful of the time and effort it takes to stop and shower Every. Single. Day. Okay, who am I kidding? Almost. Every. Single. Day. (We still giggle about it; she agrees with me.)

    Definitely a holdover from the days when the kids were little. But seriously, there are so many stinkin’ other things to be done! And I’m just gonna get sweaty and smelly AGAIN. (Sorry, I think my resentment is in full force now that it’s summer and I have to shave my legs DAILY. Ugh.)

    I decided long ago that aiming for adequate takes every ounce of effort and energy I possess. Screw perfection. Gimme some adequacy. I’m good with it.

    Monica

    • Thanks for reading, Monica!
      That’s just it. As a Mom, you have to prioritize, and often we put ourselves last.
      It’s an unfortunate universal truth for most Momma’s.
      At least people are more willing to talk about it and discuss now. 🙂
      Glad you enjoyed the read!

  7. For what it’s worth, I made my own baby wipes once. Thry were easy to make and worked great, however…. My house gets hot, because we don’t have central air. The wipes got mildew, ewww, in less than a week. So the whole thing was a waste of time. Kirkland wipes rock, anyway!

  8. Love this…all so true! I think the moms that would deny these things are lying to themselves. I would like to add to the list my ongoing guilt for 1. reading blogs while my kids watch tv and 2. for not doing a crafty project every day. But I am just sooo not the crafty mom. Sounds like you do a great job! And by the way, meal planning is awful, I recently subscribed to http://www.thefresh20.com and it has saved my life!

  9. I love this post! For me, these things are necessary in order to have a well-adjusted kid. I mean, setting too high a standard for ourselves might end up teaching our kids that they also have to be perfect ALL the time and that they can’t make mistakes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s