7

My leaky bladder makes sense now!

Call your mother and say something nice!

My little L will be two at the end of October, which means I am approaching the hell that can only be described as potty training. She’s already shown interest a tiny bit, and has asked to sit on the big girl toilet once, and stayed there for about 15-20 minutes while singing songs and “chatting” as much as a not quite two year old can. Which means, I’ll have to go buy a potty.

So I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for potty training. I’m bracing myself for accidents – an unintentional pee in the underpants, not quite making it to the toilet in time, her feeling ashamed of peeing herself, trying to let her know it’s okay, and that Mommy knows it was an accident, etc. Then I realized – it all makes sense!

THIS must be why after we give birth, our bladders aren’t ever the same. THIS must be why when we cough, or sneeze, or laugh too hard we piss our pants. THIS must be why I’m up a bazillion times a night to pee. THIS must be why.

Mom’s are biologically made to accidentally piss themselves after giving birth so that we are empathetic to our toddlers when they piss themselves during potty training. I’ve unintentionally peed in my underpants, I’ve felt ashamed at peeing myself (even if it is just some wee drips), and I need comfort too, dammit! So this is why it happens – so when my sweet L feels embarrassed and ashamed when she has her first pissy accident, I can say with complete sympathy, “It’s ok L, Mummy understands. She sometimes pees her pants too, but we have to keep trying to make it to the toilet on time, and empty ourselves frequently to avoid accidental drips”.

So, my sweet L, Mummy gets it. She really, really does. Kegels just don’t do what they are supposed to do 100% of the time.

(Do you piss your pants, too? If so, vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs – just a single click on the button to the right of my blog equals a vote! If you don’t piss your pants, I’d stillĀ  appreciate sympathy votes to make me and my leaky bladder feel a little bit better).

11

Strangest baby/kid products part 2!

Since I’ve been sad about what is to come tonight (see: “To my cat, before you die.“), I decided that to cheer myself up a bit and distract myself I would scour the internet for some more beyond crazy baby and kid products. There are some weird ones out there, but these were what made my list today.

Here we go!

1) Bratz Babyz.

Ok, as if Bratz dolls aren’t slutty bad enough, there are apparently also Bratz Babyz out there. WTF! Babies are innocent, sweet, and pure. Babyz on the other hand, are slutty, skanky, full of makeup and sexualized. WHO THE EFF THINKS IT IS OK TO SEXUALIZE A BABY AND MARKET IT! So wrong on so many levels. Hate, hate, HATE!

SO WRONG!

SO WRONG!

Talk about marketing to pedophiles...

Talk about marketing to pedophiles…

Who buys this stuff!!!

2) First High Heels by Heelarious. ( http://tristinstyling.com/kids/baby-girl/get-her-heelarious-for-christmas )

heelarious1

Popular among celebrities for baby gifts, apparently these babies are popular all over the world and have been featured in Vogue Japan, given out by Ellen DeGeneres for mom’s to be, and the list goes on and on.

Am I the only one who wonders what the hell is wrong with letting kids be kids? Why do they have to be little grown-ups at 6 months old? A woman wearing high heels is considered a sex symbol, so what does that make a 6 month old in heels? Sure, little girls like to play dress up and that’s all fair. But these are made for babies 0-6 months old. At that point they aren’t playing dress up, Mommy is. Mommy is also pushing her ideals of beauty onto her child before she’s even gotten to an age where she can begin to develop a sense of worth, or have confidence in herself for who she is rather than what she is wearing or what she looks like.

So much wrong…

3) The iPotty. ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2259969/iPotty-gadget-lets-toddlers-watch-videos-iPad-toilet-training.html )

Take this review as you may, because I don’t own an iPad. But I see all kinds of reasons why I wouldn’t buy this product.

iPoop, iPee, iPotty!

iPoop, iPee, iPotty!

Here’s my thoughts on this. We already are living in a digital society where our kids are spending too much time in front of screens and not enough time learning to do things by hand or interact with other humans. Between TV’s, computers, iPhones, iPads, Leapfrogs, etc., our kids are learning that everything has to be done with digital accompaniment. While some people may say the iPotty will help their kid actually sit still and stay on the potty, I say it will help them to learn to be too dependent on technology rather than focusing on the task at hand.

Plus, if you’re training a toddler, there are bound to be “misses” with the pee aim, dirty poop and pee covered fingers smearing the screen, and germs galore! How will they be able to focus on that “I have to go” feeling, when they’re focusing on a video or a game? How weird is it that your kid knows how to use an iPad and not a toilet? To me this just screams “easy out” for parents who don’t want to have to put work into potty training. Potty training is one of those times that you should be active in engaging your toddler, and talking with them, teaching them, and rewarding them. Not plunking them down and walking away while the iPotty babysits for you.

Ever heard of Pavlov’s dogs? This is a prime example of classical conditioning. We are going to raise a generation of kids who see an iPad, and have to iPoop or iPee. Gross.

Seen any weird or crazy products geared towards parents or kids lately? I want to hear about them!

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