10

Mama is raiding the treat bag…

With Dada’s help.

That’s one of the benefits of bringing a toddler to a birthday party. The treat bag often contains crap she can’t eat yet, or I don’t want her to eat. That leaves us with the tough task of eating some of it for her. Sigh. How awful. 😉

My cousins little boy just turned three, and in the treat bag from his party were these beauties:

image

I haven’t seen these since I was a kid! Of course, for nostalgia purposes alone I decided she just couldn’t have them (that and the sugar…yeah…the sugar).

Then I was struck by just how much things have changed from when I was a kid. These used to be called “Popeye cigarettes”, and the white candy sticks had one red end to resemble an ember burning at the end of a smoke.

Now they are “Popeye candy sticks”, and are just white sticks. Sigh. While I appreciate now as a mother that they aren’t glamorizing smoking and promoting an awful habit marketed towards young kids, it did make me feel old.

My how times have changed.

22

Top 5 Strangest/Most Unnecessary Baby Products

Do you ever look at some products out there and have a serious “Oh my God, who would actually buy this?” moment? I do all the time, but I am pretty big on only buying things that I deem actually necessary.

So after perusing the internet tonight (baby L is asleep and my fiance is setting up a PS3 so I actually had some time to play on the net) I found some products that I just had to comment on. Some made me laugh, some made me slap my hand to my forehead in disbelief.

Would love to hear your opinions!

So here we go – My top 5 strangest, most unnecessary baby products of all time!

1) Baby Bangs (www.babybangs.com)

baby-bangs

Seriously – WTF.

I mean my little girl was bald for her first 9 months, but it’s a cute baby bald. I never felt the need to Donald Trump her and give her an obviously fake toupee! Who actually looks at her baby and says “I mean she’s kinda cute, but I mean I think she’d be prettier if I could give her a wig”. Way to start your daughter off with a complex right from the get go – you’ve only just been born, and we’re already giving you body image issues. Yay! (BARF!)

2) Temperature Test Duck

temperature duck

While pregnant, I was walking through Babies R Us with someone who spotted this and exclaimed “Wow! What a genius idea! Now you’ll know if the water is too hot!”.

Umm, correct me if I’m wrong, but in the time it takes you to take the duck and put it in the water, wait for the duck to read the temperature, pick it up and turn it over to read the temperature gauge….. could you not have just put your damn hand into the tub and checked it yourself?! Completely unnecessary.

3) Baby Bottom Fan

baby bottom fan

Baby bum rashes suck. I’ve been there and done that and it is a PAIN IN THE ASS (Haha look at me being punny) to deal with. Any doctor or nurse will tell you that letting your babe air out their tush is crucial to speeding up healing time. But seriously? A baby bottom fan? When my kid is sore and in pain, and doesn’t sit still, I’m not about to put a fan with whirring blades up in there. It’s not like she’d sit still to let me do it anyway. Besides there’s this other thing you can use that will do the same thing for free…. air.

4) Perfume for babies.

Baby Perfume

ARE. YOU. FOR. REAL?

Seriously. It was recently in the news that Dolce and Gabbana is also releasing a baby perfume, for all those mama’s who are like “Eww I hate the way my baby smells”. Excuse me?
The thing I love most about babies is that baby smell! Their little freshly bathed heads. Besides, who in their right mind is ok with slathering unnecessary chemicals all over their babes skin?

This is just an awful idea all around.

5) Buster ride on vaccuum for toddlers.

Buster Ride on Vaccuum

Ok when I first saw this, I thought this was so unnecessary and just a marketing ploy. Then I really thought about it. Whoever invented this is actually a GENIUS!

This is probably the only thing on this list I might buy. My kid is obsessed with her little ride on cars. She tries to go all over the house with them. She’s also obsessed with the vaccuum cleaner. Why not combine them, let her “play” and then it’s one less chore for Mommy to do?

“Hey Mama, can I PLEEASE ride my car in the house?”

“Sigh… if you must.”

Mom gets to sit back with a Hershey bar while the kid cleans the house without even knowing it.

Where can I get one of these?