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Random thoughts on parenting a toddler.

There’s no real rhyme or reason for this post, it’s just a bunch of random thoughts that have been floating around in my head. Scattered thoughts are all I can amount to lately as my brain feels fried and my motivation seems unusually low. Perhaps it is because all things Christmas have taken over my brain. But nonetheless, I have a few thoughts on being a parent to a toddler that I’d like to share with you.

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When you’re a parent to a toddler, life changes. For one, I can’t pee alone. Ever. It’s like the second I close the bathroom door, a little alarm goes off in her ear and she’s alerted to my desire for privacy. Privacy? What’s that? Definitely not something that makes sense to a toddler! It’s almost as if they remember living inside your body for a year and as a result feel as though mommy’s body is like common-law property – they own 50% and therefore can have access to it whenever they please. Privacy be damned. Besides, she came out of that hoo-ha, so why does Mommy think she needs to hide it? I’m sure in her head she’s thinking “Hey, you get to hover over me while I try sitting on this thing you call a potty. Isn’t it fun when the tables are turned?” Sigh. I just want to pee alone sometimes.

I’ve also learned to lower my standard of “clean”. Clean before kids and clean after kids, are two VERY different kinds of clean. It always looks as though some form of atomic bomb has gone off in my place. It’s a constant battle. Every time I try to put a toy away, she cries, grabs it out of the toy box and throws it back onto precisely the same section of floor I retrieved it from. It’s pointless to pick up unless she’s in bed and can’t physically bear witness to us sacrificing her doll’s life by throwing it in the “toy box of death”. Heaven forbid I put her in a cute outfit, or she’s doing something hilarious I’d like to take a picture of – I have to search for a clean section of the house to take the picture from so that I can post the pic on Facebook without people thinking we live in a home that exploded toddler paraphernalia.

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I’ve also caught myself talking to my child as if she is a parrot. You know how you tell a parrot “Say Hello!”, “Say, Polly wanna cracker”, etc. That’s how my day goes. “Say thank you!”, “Say Bye Gramma!”, “Say Please”, blah blah blah. Sometimes I wonder if it’d be easier if our toddler’s were little ventriloquist dummies, and we could get them to just move their mouths while we do the talking for them. That’s essentially what I feel like I’m doing all damn day. Living life on repeat, trying to get my kid to say the right things at the right times, and to be courteous. They’re at the cusp of language development, and as a result, Mommy’s sentences have turned into a newfangled toddler language I like to refer to as “Toddlerish” (Toddler + English = Toddlerish).

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I resort to bribery. A lot. Especially at dinner time. When L won’t eat, I find myself saying “Will you eat supper if I put on Pingu?”. I’m always (ALWAYS) greeted with an emphatic “yes!”. So Pingu goes on, and L eats. It’s almost magical. It’s amazing how she’s learned to control Mommy and Daddy already into getting to watch cartoons at dinner time. Sigh. L = 1, Mommy =0. Then there’s me being a parrot and repeating the same thing over and over again at the dinner table. “L, please eat your dinner. One bite please. Just one more bite”. Almost every single time I say that I’m greeted with either “No!” or by her grinning at me and drinking water instead. L = 2, Mommy = 0.

There are probably a million more I’m missing, but like I said, my brain is fried and my thoughts are scattered. That’ll get better in 16 years, right?

Sigh. She’s lucky she’s cute.

1

Motherhood Confessionals – Last Call!

Do you make your kids eat a healthy breakfast, while you yourself scarf down a doughnut?

Do you ever hide when eating candy or a chocolate bar so you don’t have to share with your kids?

Do you ever plunk your kids in front of the TV so you can get a 30 minute cat nap on the couch?

Have you ever been out and had your kid have a major diaper blowout, only to realize you forgot to pack extras?

Did have difficulty bonding with your child from the beginning?

Mother’s never talk about how they’ve messed up, the shortcuts they take to get through the day, their secret shames, their failures or their breakdowns. Here’s the thing though…we all go through it on some level or another. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much they try to make you think they are.

I truly believe that we as Moms are too hard on ourselves and need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. In case you haven’t heard of my proposed “Motherhood Confessionals” post, I’m planning to post ANONYMOUS confessions sent in my Moms (or Dads!) so that we can all read them and say “Hey, I’m normal. Everybody goes through stuff like this, and it isn’t anything to be ashamed of!”.

I’m hoping to start writing it and putting it together on Thursday September 12th, so this would be your last call to submit a confession. It can be anything – big, small, funny, shameful, embarrassing, stressful, etc.

All of the confessions will be posted in a random order, and completely anonymously so there is no way to be able to see who sent what. If you’ve put in anything I think would be an identifier (Ex. if on your blog you always refer to your child as “Moon Pie”, and that name was included in your confession I will edit that to say “Child/son/daughter” to make it less identifiable).

So this is it – last call for confessions! I’d love to have a big selection to choose from, so please I’d love it if you contributed. You can contact me on the Suggestions/Ideas section of my blog, or by private message on How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day on Facebook.

Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed so far. Imagine how great it will feel to read these and realize you’re completely normal, and doing an amazing job!

 

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Like free stuff? Know a little girl? #Contest #Giveaway #Toddler

Holy smokes, we are nearing 200 likes on the How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day facebook page, which means you are running out of time to enter to win FREE STUFF!

Who doesn’t like free stuff? I sure do! Especially when entering only takes like 1 minute and I don’t have to give out my email address to get spammy shit delivered to my inbox. It is just that quick to enter!

PLUS you get to customize the colours to whatever you want. I mean come on, it doesn’t get any better.

So if you have a little girl, or know a little girl, or have a party to go to for a little girl anytime in the future, this is an awesome way to add something completely unique to her collection. She’ll get her very own Butterfly Bows Dragonfly hair clip, and be the most rocking-est chick out there! You could slip the clip into a card, or to a doll’s hair, or even on the outside of a gift bag as a little extra touch.

How cute is this!

How cute is this!

Just head on over to our facebook page, like it, and follow the giveaway instructions. It doesn’t take long, and we’ll ship it to you.
Good luck!

https://www.facebook.com/howtoruinatoddlersday

 

2

It’s Giveaway time! Who wants to win? #Contest #Giveaway

That’s right folks, I have a giveaway and you could be the winner!

I love supporting local business, especially Mompreneurs. The lovely Mama at Butterfly Bows has donated a gorgeous Dragonfly hair clip to the winner. You can choose whatever colours you like!

How cute is this!

How cute is this!

I highly suggest checking out her facebook page to see what she has to offer. Go to Photos, Albums and then take a peek. I’m a particular fan of the “Lil Critters” album, and the “Princess Collection” album myself. You can find her here: https://www.facebook.com/#!/ButterflyBowsNS

But of course, with every contest there are rules you must follow. It sucks, but it’s what you have to do. 🙂

Here they are folks!
The first step is to head on over to “How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day” facebook page, and like it. https://www.facebook.com/howtoruinatoddlersday (or you can look directly to your right on my blog page and hit like from there).

And the rules:

1) You must “like” both How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day and Butterfly Bows facebook pages (links found above, and in my facebook post)

2) Post on Butterfly Bows facebook page that How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day sent you.

3) Share the facebook post on your wall.

4) Comment on my post that you have “liked” and “shared”.

Once I hit 200 likes on my facebook page, I will do a draw from random.org for the winner (from those who followed the rules correctly).

Good luck everyone!

(PS. It doesn’t matter where you live on this planet we call home, she’ll ship anywhere!)

 

25

Question to fellow bloggers: Is it too soon?

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I had someone ask me the other day, if my blog had it’s own Facebook page and Twitter account yet. My first thought was: “Really? Should I have one of those already?!”

Then I started to think. I really do want to grow my blog, and I wonder if this would be a good way to do so…
What do you all think? Is it too soon to be worrying about such things, or is it the norm and I’m falling behind with the times?

Do you all have Facebook pages and Twitter accounts for your blog? Would anyone of you even bother following or liking either of those pages if I created one?
Just doing some “market research” if you would. 🙂