14

Halloween: The Untold Parental Duties

Tomorrow is Halloween, which means we have some duties as parents. Besides making sure they are warm enough, that they have some sort of reflective gear on since it is dark out, teaching about stranger danger, telling them not to run in the street, etc., there are other duties that might not be talked about so much. Some of them benefit us as parents as well, so pay close attention folks!

1) Teaching our children about taxes. Halloween is the best time to teach our children about tax deductions! Where I live, taxes are at 15%. That means that we, as the parents, automatically earn 15% of the Halloween haul. We’ll call it a “Thanks Mom and Dad” deduction since we were generous enough to walk around with them on a cold night so they could get their sugar fix. This will help mentally prepare them up for their first job, when they see that a significant portion of their paycheque was lost to deductions. Life’s tough kid. Learn early.

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2) Testing for poison. I learned how important this was from my Grandfather. Whenever I had a chocolate bar, a bag of chips, a cookie, or any kind of tasty treat as a child my Grandfather stressed how important it is to check the food for poison. He generously risked his own life by taking my treats from me and eating a bite or two, followed by a long pause for dramatic effect before deeming them safe for me to consume. It felt really great as a kid to know that he loved me enough to eat/test my treats for me to make sure I wouldn’t be poisoned. We all need to eat our kids candy and show them how much we love them. It’s a parental duty!

3) Stranger Danger – the night off! We spend our whole lives telling our kids to never take candy from strangers. I’m not one to preach “stranger danger”, but more or less to preach “stranger awareness” – the difference between a safe stranger and a bad one. (Ex. Police officer is a safe stranger, but a creep in the back of a van with a puppy and a lollipop is a danger stranger). However, this is the one night of the year we get to confuse the shit out of our kids! “Yes, dear child. Go take candy from that stranger. Yes, you can walk up to the scary house that gives you the heebie-jeebies. Yes, you can talk to the man covered in blood on that front porch”. Poor kids – with all that promise of free candy, they don’t stand a chance!

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4) Teaching the value of clever costumes rather than slutty ones. I hope to teach my little L that you garner much more respect from a clever Halloween costume than you do with anything that has the word “sexy” in front of it. They are making everything sexy nowadays. Sexy Ben Franklin. Sexy Bert and Ernie. Even sexy corn on the cob. Yes, corn on the cob. How the hell can you make that sexy you ask? Like this. Scary stupid isn’t it? Can you imagine the pickup lines you’d get? “Mmm baby, I’d love to butter your cob”, or “If things get heated between us, will you pop?”. How about “Come on girl, let me peel away the rest of that husk”. Gag.

5) Halloween candy can evaporate! Remember how we are teaching our kids about tax deductions via the Halloween tax? It’s also a perfect time to teach them about evaporation! You know how if you leave out a glass of water, it will slowly evaporate until it is nearly gone? The same thing happens to Halloween candy over time. It disappears! That explains why when they wake up every morning, there is less than there was when they went to bed the night before. In our house, it’s the chocolate and sour patch kids that seem to “evaporate” the fastest. For this I have no scientific explanation to offer. We just won’t tell my dentist (or my dietitian) that they’ve been disappearing so quickly.

Do you have any other “valuable” lessons for the kids to learn on Halloween? I’d love it if you shared!

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12

My toddler’s love interests can only be described as…interesting.

My little L has a few TV shows that she likes to watch more so than others. On these shows, she’s developed some definite “crushes” on certain characters. They are the ones she is the most excited to see, that make her laugh every time she sees them, and that she has even gone as far as trying to hug through the television screen. 

I think it’s safe to say my L has a couple of TV crushes. Now I had some TV crushes when I was younger, but none of them were similar to my L’s tastes. She’s definitely unique in her preferences. Yes, unique. I think that’s the best way to put it.

The first time we noticed she had a crush was while we were watching Sesame Street. Elmo’s world came on, and so did his friend, Mr. Noodle.

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Now I’ll give it to him that he’s funny. He definitely makes my girl laugh, that’s for sure. But he just doesn’t have much going on between the ears. This Mr. Noodle fella can never figure out how to do the most basic of tasks, like drumming on a drum, sharing a swing, brushing his hair. I can only hope that when she’s older, my L ends up with a man who makes her laugh, yes, but can also manage get through the day without putting his pants on his head and his bum on a drum. Oy vey.

The next person I noticed she had a crush on was Captain Hook on Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Yes, really. Captain Hook.

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Wonderful. My little sweet L likes the bad boys, so her Mommy is going to be left worrying about her choices in life, and her Daddy is going to have to purchase a shot gun. Man oh man. Maybe she just thinks it’s funny that he can keep replacing his hand (hook) with different attachments? Maybe Mommy needs to do a better job of teaching her that bad guys aren’t the marrying kind. 

Most recently I’ve come to learn she’s got a little crush on Pete from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. If you’re not sure who Pete is, it’s this guy.

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I’m not sure what it is that she finds attractive in Pete. Again, I think she likes the ones that make her laugh, and while that is an admirable quality for sure, it would be nice if she liked a guy who was the same species as she is. What the hell kind of animal is Pete supposed to be anyway? Part dog? Part cow, like Clarabelle? I really don’t know what Pete is. Can anyone fill a Mama in? It’d be nice to know, so that if my daughter runs away with Pete I can have an idea of what my future Grand-babies might look like.

So in short, I can say that my daughter likes men who have no brains, criminal intentions, and of a totally different species. I’m in trouble.

Do your kids have TV crushes on strange people/characters? Who are they?

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7

My million dollar ideas!

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, and I have loads to be thankful for! I have an amazing little family who are in good health. I have lived to see another birthday this past Wednesday (Uggh 31 feels OLD!), and we are starting to get details finalized for our wedding in Jamaica! Can you tell we’re excited?

This is how I know I found my soulmate - we're both genuinely weird! :)

This is how I know I found my soulmate – we’re both genuinely weird! 🙂

So as I was thinking of all the things I was thankful for, I started to think about things that I think would make my life even easier! Things that I’m not sure actually exist (some of them might – I honestly haven’t checked), but I’m sure if I could create them I’d be rolling in some money!

So here’s my little list of things I think would make life easier. Got anything to add?
– I know they make machines that are a washer and dryer in one, so you don’t have to switch the load from the washer to the dryer, it just drains out then automatically starts the drying cycle. I had one of these in Korea and it kicked ass!

But I’d like to have a machine that washes your clothes, dries your clothes, then automatically folds them for you. So when the buzzer goes off to indicate it is done, it is already pre-folded and you don’t have to sit there for a bloody half hour to fold your laundry. Who am I kidding. I don’t really fold my laundry often. It sits clean in the laundry basket and we sift through that to put our outfits together for the day. Anything to make a lazy Mom’s life easier, am I right?

– Ever tried to push a stroller through a snowstorm? Okay, so if you live in the Southern states or somewhere tropical, likely not. But I’m telling you right now, it’s a pain in the ass! The wheels get stuck in slush and snow, and the pushing becomes choppy and bumpy at best.

You know how some fancy stollers have just a little button you push and it collapses on it’s own? Well how friggin’ cool would it be if you pushed a little button in the winter, and it released little sled runners that swung under the wheels of the stroller. That way instead of trying to manoeuver wheels through the slush and snow, you were just essentially gliding a convertible stroller/sled in the snow! It’d be so much easier! Does this exist? If not, I call patenting it!

– I don’t know a single Momma who doesn’t feel sleep deprived at some point (if not all the time). Sometimes, coffee just isn’t enough!

Do you remember watching those sci-fi shows and cartoons (like the Jetsons) and they ate an entire meal in capsule form? Or watching Charlie and the Chocolate factory and that gobstopper had a full meal? Why hasn’t someone created some sort of snack or shake that when eaten, makes the sleep deprived Momma feel like she’s just had 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep and has enough energy to match her toddler? Didn’t sleep? No problem – just eat this magic sleep cookie and BAM – what’s it feel like to be tired again?

– I’m sick of fighting the car seat. My child does “the rod” like a champ!

Which is your kid the master of?

Which is your kid the master of?

So I’m thinking there needs to be a car seat that has a set of arms pop out and holds your kid into the sitting position for you. Heck, while we’re at it, let’s have those arms hold your kid for you while the straps automatically fasten themselves! You just have to watch and make sure it all goes down smoothly.

– While we’re on a car theme, let’s make some car floor mats that can absorb all the discarded cheerios, goldfish crackers and annie’s cheddar bunnies. Let’s make a car seat that has an automatic dispenser on the side for those aforementioned snacks so when you’re driving and you hear “Moommmm! I’m hungry!” you can just tell them to hit the button and a perfectly portioned snack will present itself to them.

Got any other ideas that would make life easier? What are you thankful for on this lovely Canadian Thanksgiving day?
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23

If my toddler could tell me off…

I got to thinking today (I know, I know…it’s dangerous when I start to think about things) about how tough it must be to be a toddler. I mean, I’m literally doing things to ruin her day all the time. That’s where the title of my blog came from. She wants to do things, I say no, I’ve ruined her day.

It must suck to be such a tiny human, and be constantly told you “have to do this” or “can’t do that” all day long. My L is only pint-sized, but she’s a strong-headed personality, and she definitely has a mind of her own. Of course I piss her off when I go ruining what she’s got planned.

So I thought to myself – if she were able to eloquently describe to me her thoughts on my “Mommy bossiness” and tell me off, what would she say? Would she have reasons for wanting to do what she does? What would her perspective be?

So here’s my take on it – knowing my daughter as I do, and how hard it is to change her mind when she has it set. I’m going to lay out the situation, my response (and reasoning) and her response (and reasoning) as I imagine it might be.

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Situation #1 I left the room for two minutes, and L took the time to dump half a bottle of baby powder all over the living room carpet, and herself.

My thoughts – “Ohhhhh noooooo, L! We don’t dump that on the carpet! Look, you’ve made a mess. Now we have to clean you up and change you before we go out. Uggh. I don’t have time for this…”

Her thoughts – “Come on Mom, I’m learning here! It’s physics! Look at how it all goes down to the floor, but some of it floats in the air! And look – I dumped it on my feet, then moved and could see my footprints on the carpet! How effin’ cool is that?! Maybe I’ll do it again – look two sets of feet! Holy crap I’m an artist. Why aren’t you loving this?!”

Situation #2 – She asked for a cookie/cracker, so I hand her two. One is broken. Meltdown ensues.

My thoughts“Oh for goodness sake, L, they all taste the same. The whole one will look like that once you take a bite out of it anyway!”

Her thoughts – “What do you take me for Mom, a pushover? This one is broken, and I’m being ripped off! Less cookie than I would have gotten? Hell no! Besides, when a cookie/cracker is broken, it dies. DIES! Who wants to eat a dead cookie! How do I get enjoyment out of seeing that this cookie had its life cut short because the box got shaken up? LIFE IS SO CRUEL!”

Situation #3Wanting to eat the lone goldfish cracker she found under her ass in the car seat, or the raisin she found stuck to her foot after stepping on it.

My thoughts – “Ewwww, L, dirty. Don’t eat that. Yuck, yuck, yuck!” (Secretly thinking – hmmm, will that tide her over till lunch?)

Her thoughts “Sweet, I found that snack I stashed away for later. I knew I’d need this! Wait, WTF Mom, why are you taking that away? I planted this on purpose! It’s food, dammit. FOOD! You’re supposed to eat it. You’re always telling me to “eat my breakfast”, or “come on, one more bite of supper”, and now you WON’T let me eat? YOU ARE SO UNFAIR!”

Situation # 4 – I give L her favourite lunch, and she refuses to eat it.

My thoughts – “Come on L, you love this! You ate it just the other day and devoured it. I know you like it. Why are you pushing it away today?”

Her thoughts – “Seriously Mom, have you ever just not been in the mood for a certain thing? I had this same kind of sandwich two other times this week, and I just don’t want it today. Can’t you learn to make ANYTHING DIFFERENT? I mean, would you want to eat the same things on repeat all the time? No. It’s boring. AND YUCKY! Why can’t you just make me something new for once?!”

Situation # 5 – We’ve just gotten out of the car to go to my Mom’s, and she is unhappy because I make her walk (not run) and hold my hand on the street.

My thoughts – “L, we’re by the road where there are cars. You have to hold Mommy’s hand. It’s dangerous. STOP! I mean it sweetie. No running by the road!”

Her thoughts – “OMG I’M ALWAYS TIED UP! You lock me into the car seat so I can’t move. You lock me into the booster seat at the dining room table so I can’t move. You put me in a stroller so I can’t move. You hold my hand too tightly by the road so I can’t move. I JUST WANT TO BE FREE, DAMMIT! Look, there’s leaves on Gramma’s front yard. LEAVES! They’re yellow, and orange, and green, and I want them all! I want all the rocks in the driveway. I want to run to the neighbours fence to say “Hi Doggy!” to my friend with the waggly tail. Stop with the restrictions and LET ME LIVE!”.

So I guess I have to try and think of things from her perspective for a bit. I think I ruin her day a lot.

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2

“Heart” – My friend’s strength is immeasurable.

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Well, try as I might, I can’t seem to find a way to “reblog” a Blogger post onto my WordPress blog, but I feel so strongly that my dear friend C’s blog post needs to be shared, that I’m providing the link here and hope you will all go and read it.

C is an incredible Mom to two sweet boys, an amazing photographer, and will soon be giving birth to her third son. This blog post eloquently describes the emotions she and her partner went through on discovering that their unborn son was found to have a congenital heart defect (transposition of the Great Vessels – TGV or TGA), which will require he have open heart surgery soon after his birth.

It’s an emotional post for anyone to read. Even more so for me as she’s my dear friend. And even more so for her to write as she works through her fears and emotions on what to expect.

I did ask her permission before sharing this, and I do hope that it can reach a Mom or Dad going through similar so that they know they aren’t alone. In her words: “The blog is open to the public, I was hoping that it would be able to help anyone going through this, or anything like it. Stumbling on others blogs, and being able to read them has helped me so much. Personal stories always seem the most relatable.”

Please go read it – it’s truly great. xoxo

http://deathbydinky.blogspot.ca/2013/09/heart.html

7

My leaky bladder makes sense now!

Call your mother and say something nice!

My little L will be two at the end of October, which means I am approaching the hell that can only be described as potty training. She’s already shown interest a tiny bit, and has asked to sit on the big girl toilet once, and stayed there for about 15-20 minutes while singing songs and “chatting” as much as a not quite two year old can. Which means, I’ll have to go buy a potty.

So I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for potty training. I’m bracing myself for accidents – an unintentional pee in the underpants, not quite making it to the toilet in time, her feeling ashamed of peeing herself, trying to let her know it’s okay, and that Mommy knows it was an accident, etc. Then I realized – it all makes sense!

THIS must be why after we give birth, our bladders aren’t ever the same. THIS must be why when we cough, or sneeze, or laugh too hard we piss our pants. THIS must be why I’m up a bazillion times a night to pee. THIS must be why.

Mom’s are biologically made to accidentally piss themselves after giving birth so that we are empathetic to our toddlers when they piss themselves during potty training. I’ve unintentionally peed in my underpants, I’ve felt ashamed at peeing myself (even if it is just some wee drips), and I need comfort too, dammit! So this is why it happens – so when my sweet L feels embarrassed and ashamed when she has her first pissy accident, I can say with complete sympathy, “It’s ok L, Mummy understands. She sometimes pees her pants too, but we have to keep trying to make it to the toilet on time, and empty ourselves frequently to avoid accidental drips”.

So, my sweet L, Mummy gets it. She really, really does. Kegels just don’t do what they are supposed to do 100% of the time.

(Do you piss your pants, too? If so, vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs – just a single click on the button to the right of my blog equals a vote! If you don’t piss your pants, I’d still  appreciate sympathy votes to make me and my leaky bladder feel a little bit better).

16

Open Farm Day

Sorry for not being around as much lately. Chronic pain has taken over my life for the moment as we’re trying to come up with a solution, but I’m hopeful after a specialist appointment today that we might be making progress.

This past Sunday was Open Farm day in Nova Scotia. Basically, it’s a day where farms in our province open their doors to welcome the public, so that we can all meet our farmers and see where our food comes from. It’s a great program, and we wanted to take advantage of it.

We chose to go to Noggins Farm because it is only 1hour away, and is great for kids! Besides the u-pick area of the farm where you can pick apples, herbs, berries, pumpkins, etc., they also have a giant corn maze, and lots of kids mazes, a play area and pony rides.

We started out apple picking. We had to wait about 15-20 minutes for a wagon ride to the orchard, which wasn’t too bad as it was a gorgeous day, but L had other ideas. Waiting is boring and not very fun when there’s a whole farm to explore. Luckily there were some giant corn stalks nearby she could check out!

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After a brief tantrum due to the fact she wasn’t allowed to run wild, the wagon arrived and we were off for a trip to the apple orchard! We were picking Gravenstein apples that day, and L loved it! It took a while to teach her that we didn’t want the rotten apples that had fallen on the ground, but she got the hang of it! She also learned that pulling apples off of a tree is hard work for a not quite two year old! She had to put her whole body into pulling!

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You can just see her working so hard. Hard work pays off though, because the best part of picking an apple straight off of the tree is eating it straight from the tree. Those apples were quite literally dripping with juice!

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After we finished picking apples, we went to one of the food trucks on the farm. They had the usual offerings of fries, poutine (a Canadian thing – fries, cheese curds and gravy. Sooo good!), etc. But they also offered hot fresh corn on the cob dipped in a thermos full of melted butter. Nothing says “welcome to fall” like that!

After eating we decided to do the corn maze. L was loving it and was running full speed ahead – that is until she didn’t like that Mommy and Daddy wanted to head in a direction she didn’t want to go. Try explaining to a toddler that we have the map and she’s going to get us lost for days if we listen to her. There was no reasoning with her. There are places in NS that offer Haunted Corn Mazes close to Halloween where you are chased through the maze by people dressed as zombies, chasing you with chainsaws (no blade) etc. They’re super scary – almost as scary as being stuck in a corn maze with a toddler tantrum. FML.

So needless to say we hightailed it out of that maze and played on some kiddy games for a while. She went through a rope maze, climbed bales of hay, scooted through tunnels, and then sat on top of a giant tire.

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All in all, it was a pretty great day at the farm! We had lots of fun, and came home with more apples than I know what to do with. I gave a bunch away and still have too many. It’s like I was temporarily insane and forgot that I’m lazy and unambitious and that all of these apples would just lead to work. I’ll have to do some baking, or they’ll go to waste. Sigh. Stupid Momma.

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Time to get creative. I’ve you have any “lazy mom” recipes that involve using up a crap ton of apples, I’m all ears. Anything that takes too much effort will be promptly ignored.

I’ll be trying to up my frequency of posts again soon, I just need to get some pain relief so I can sit for long enough to write.

xo

(ps – did you vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs? It won’t take away my pain, but it will make me smile! Just click on the image to the right – one click = one vote!)

7

I now know how Mr. Potato Head came to be.

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For the love of potatoes.

You know how kids are. They go through phases where “this is my my most favourite toy ever!”, and nothing else will do. L has one of those – it’s her Lamby. It looks like this guy, except it’s now a permanent shade of dirt grey and probably full of more germs and bacteria than I care to admit to.
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While she hasn’t given up  her Lamby (and I doubt she ever will), she has found a new love. A potato. Sadly, I wish I were referring to Mr. Potato Head, but I’m not. I’m talking a plain old dirty potato. She found one in the potato bag the other day and has had it ever since. She carries it around with her, she puts it into her pot and stirs it to make what I can only imagine is potato soup (which I then have to pretend to eat a bazillion effin’ times a day), she lays on the floor and hugs it and cuddles it, she asks to take it to bed, and she cries when we try to put it back in the potato bag.

WTF. Seriously. It’s a potato.

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I fear this might end up being her first science lesson.

Will she freak out when the skin starts to get all wilted and squishy? What will she do when it starts growing eyes? I could put it in water and show her how it grows, but I think she’s too young to understand that – she just wants to cuddle the damn potato! What will she do when it starts to rot and I have to toss it? Will she notice if I replace it with another potato? If I steal it from her, does that make it a “hot potato”?  Holy hell, I can’t believe this is even an issue…

I’m feeling this way about a goddamn potato. I can’t imagine what’d I’d be feeling if it were a pet!

This must be how Mr. Potato head was invented. Some freakin’ parent realized their kids pet potato was about to rot and give them diseases, so he made it into a toy. That’s got to be the only explanation.

Speaking of Mr. Potato Head, did I ever tell you all the story about how he almost murdered my Mother? That’s a whole other blog post…

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21

The wait is over – Motherhood Confessionals!

I’d like to start off this post by thanking all of the Mama’s who put their guard down and submitted Motherhood Confessions to me for this blog post. I quite literally couldn’t have done it without you!

I know I normally try to take a funny stance on my posts, but sometimes more serious posts are necessary. Like this one, for example. I read all the time about Moms who think they are failures and think they aren’t living up to the standards a “good Mom” should be able to achieve. What we don’t realize, is that we are all good Moms who are just way too hard on ourselves.

One of the Mum’s brave enough to submit some confessions eloquently described why I felt this was important. I’m including what the awesome Mama from Momma Needs Coffee wrote to me about submitting confessions (with her permission to do so, of course).

“I am really glad How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day decided to run this. I am always stressing out about the ways I think I am failing and trying to find ways to make myself better. I was going to write about a specific time when I felt like I had failed, but I realized that it was the day to day things that stress me out more than the one time occurrences. I realized that there might be some other mom’s out there who feel equally guilty while they are confessing things, even if it’s only to themselves. I needed to forgive myself for not being perfect. And at the end of the day, I am not failing at all. Why? Because my kids are happy, healthy and most importantly: LOVED.”

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Before I post the confessions, I would like to again stress that these are completely anonymous and posted in a random mixed up order. I’ve also put one or two in there of my own that I needed to get off my chest. If we learn anything from this post, I hope it is that we are all good parents, no matter how much we feel we might be failing. We all go through ups and downs, highs and lows, and moments of immense frustration. It doesn’t make us bad Mums – it makes us normal ones!

So without further ado, onto the confessions!

  • At my daughter’s first Christmas, we had to go to multiple family members homes to make the visiting rounds. With a baby less than 3 months old, and very little sleep that night, I was plain exhausted. We didn’t leave my father in law’s home that night until after 11pm to head home. My partner fell asleep in the car, and I was driving. It was a 45 minute commute. Thirty minutes into the drive, my baby started to cry uncontrollably. I pulled over 15 minutes away from home, and went to check on her in the back seat. Her winter hat had fallen off of her head and was completely covering her face which lead me to panic. But that wasn’t the worst part. She had fallen asleep at my father in laws house, so I put her in the car seat to sleep on the floor with a blanket tucking her in. When we packed her up for the drive, we must have forgotten to remove the blanket to be sure she was strapped in – she wasn’t. We drove 30 minutes on a highway with her in the carseat, but without being strapped in. I strapped her in and cried for the 15 minutes remaining in the drive, and then cried myself to sleep that night. I was a new Mom, and I’d failed at keeping her safe.
  • There have been times when I have left the kids in a diaper that I know is wet because I am preoccupied with something else. Not something important. Something like a game on Facebook, or reading a book.
  • I have plopped my kid in front of the TV so I could write more, I’ve hid in the laundry room to eat a chocolate bar while inconspicuously wiping the residue off of my face as I casually walk out, I’ve bribed and threatened all in one sentence…but one other thing I do feel bad about and need to work harder to stop is being on my damn iPhone. It has so many apps that notify me of things and being a lover of instant gratification and validation, I check them immediately, if possible, rather than waiting until free opportunities. WordPress has me bad…I love that damn notification sound. I don’t check FB very much on it, but definitely check texts and WordPress when they notify me. Both kids know how to work the phone from seeing me. When my daughter says something about me being on my phone, I say that I am scheduling playdates and activities for her and her brother..which is partly true and partly a lie. I’m doing that but also checking in to see what new comment just came to my post. So, there you have it. I spend too much time on my iPhone. Now that I’ve confessed, I may have to make an effort to stop.
  • I’ve yelled at my newborn asking him what his problem was on a few occasions (all the while knowing that I was the one with the problem because, y’know, the crying baby is crying because it’s the only way he knows how to communicate).
  • I keep “fast food” in the house for days when I am too lazy to put any real effort into cooking a meal. Frozen waffles, chicken nuggets in a box, a bag of fries, corn dogs. I tend to go through these pretty fast, even though I normally enjoy cooking.
  • One Christmas I was given some Lindt chocolates. You know the really yummy red balls. Whenever I ate one I’d give the kids a cheap Walmart foil wrapped chocolate. When I ran out of cheap chocolates I’d sneak eating my special yummy chocolates so I didn’t have to share with the kids. One day I got caught eating one and the kids wanted some, so I lied and told them I couldn’t share because these chocolates have alcohol in them. Lol Oops!
  • I’ve let my son cry in his crib “just one more minute” to “see if he can sort himself out” more than once in the middle of the night.
  • I snap at the kids. I lose my patience. More often than I want to admit to. I try not to, but I do.
  • I’ve been careless enough that my son ended up doing a face plant off the couch and onto the floor.
  •  I too, sometimes wait to see if the baby and the toddler with self soothe, partially because I’m tired and I really don’t want to get out of bed. I’m also guilty of the pajamas until three o’clock, potato chips as a meal, and toys when they really don’t deserve them because they have been misbehaving but everyone in the store is staring at me like I’m the world’s worst mother if I don’t buy them, offenses.
  • I love my kid more than life itself, and wouldn’t change having her in my life for anything. But sometimes I really miss life before her – things like sleeping till noon, making last minute spontaneous plans with my girlfriends, and generally being able to put myself first for anything. I love her, but I miss my “before” life.
  • Sometimes I wish I could go back to when I didn’t have kids. When I could sleep whenever I wanted. Eat when I wanted. Have extra money. Not have to wonder if I remembered to put the wipes into the diaper bag when we are out and catch a whiff of something unpleasant.
  • When my son was a little baby – about 3 months old – I went out for a few Xmas drinks with friends. I left a couple of bottles with daddy – one for the middle of the night wake up and one for the morning even though I’d be back. Anyway, my son just would not take the middle of the night one. There was no way I could feed him either. I’d had quite a bit to drink. We ended up just pouring just a little down his throat from a cup. He finally settled and went back to sleep. When he woke up for his morning feed he just refused the bottle again and screamed and screamed and screamed. With the calculations from the breastfeeding website, based on what I drank the night before I felt I still had about another hour to go before my breast milk would be 100% alcohol free but he just wouldn’t stop crying and in the end I fed him. He had a big sleep after that feed, I’ll never forget it, and I stood over him virtually the whole time as I was terrified I’d made him drunk. To be clear, I hadn’t had a drink for something like 7 hours, but still, it was worrying for me.
  • I love my daughter, but sometimes other people’s kids really annoy me.
  • I’ve gotten annoyed with my son because he was being needy and I just wanted to read one more post.
  • I sometimes sneak money out of my kids piggy banks when we are getting low on cash before pay day.
  • Forgetting baby wipes. I have done this. Numerous times. And not noticed until I had the diaper off one of them and no way to get anything. I used a receiving blanket and threw it out. When the baby spit up…I used the spare clothes that were in the diaper bag to wipe her and I up.
  • I’ve “not noticed” a few dirty/wet diapers so that my partner would have to change them.
  • I turn the TV on for the kids almost every day so I can lie on the couch and cat nap. I need it. I can’t function otherwise.
  • Sometimes I pretend to be asleep when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night in the hopes my husband will hear her and wake up to deal with her. If he doesn’t hear her, I’ll “nudge” him awake so that he does.
  • I cry a lot and wonder how other Moms do it. I don’t tell my friends that I’m having a hard time dealing with being a new Mom because I’m afraid it will make me look like a bad Mom. So I cry to myself.
  • I’ve told my daughter that her lunch/dinner is actually called “cake” or “cookie” just because I know if I use those words to describe her meal, she’ll eat it.
  • I sometimes feel resentful towards my partner for not doing as much to look after our child as I do.

 

That’s all I received for confessions from all of you lovely, amazing, spectacular Moms. I’m sure most of us can relate to one, if not all of the confessions on this blog post. And if we’ve learned anything from relating to these confessions it’s that we’re all in the same boat. We’re all Moms. We all struggle, we are all forgetful, but above all else, we all LOVE with every inch of our hearts. That is the most important common factor.

So let’s focus on the love, and not the failures. Because after all, we aren’t the first or last Mom to feel that way.

Xo.

(PS – Don’t forget to click to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs – just click on that fancy button on the right hand side of my blog. One click = one vote!)

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Look to the right – see that little picture that says vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs? All you have to do is click it! One click automatically equals one vote – easy as that! You can vote every day, and help me to climb the rankings.

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xo