I needed this laugh.

I’ve seen this done before by a few other bloggers, so I thought I’d play around on WordPress and do my own version.

You see, I’ve been feeling quite sad this week and thought I needed a laugh. Boy oh boy, did this do the trick! I went through my stats, and looked up the history of all the search terms that people have used to find themselves at my blog. Some of them I read and completely understand how it led them to my blog, and some of them even have me stumped, and I’m the one who writes all of my content! So if you want a laugh of your own, read through my results (and my reactions to them), and take a peek at your own search term results for fun!

google-analytics-cartoon-1322054148

Please note, I have not changed any spelling or punctuation in any of these results. I will let them speak for themselves…

1) adult baby pacifier
You see, I did a post about how I feared that if I let my kid have her pacifier until SHE decided to wean herself from it, she might well end up as one of those creepy adult babies featured on “My Strange Addiction”. Apparently though, there are a lot of people who Google where to find adult baby pacifiers. Interesting.

2) wobble boobs

Well, I can only assume they were led to me by my post titled “Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro”. I still don’t know if I want to meet the person who googles wobble boobs though…

3) devilish woman

Is this what I am? I am lost as to how this led to me…

4) boob hand tuch facebook

So what exactly is a tuch? Is that supposed to say “touch” or “tush”? I don’t get it at all…

5) woman breastfeeding kitten

I have three letters for this one. W T F!?!?!

6) my mom touched me

Eek. I don’t like how that is worded, and don’t like that it led to my blog.

7) i have to poop not coming out

Well that’s unfortunate. Might I suggest some stool softeners or some prune juice or some fibre supplementation?

8) he is nothing, thems work for computer

Hunh? I really am lost on this one. Can anyone help me out here?

9) i bought them and they were mine but you ate them yeah you ate my fries and i cried and you died see me cry

HAHAHA! I have no idea what this person was trying to find, and how they ended up at my blog, but thank you for making my day. We must be kindred spirits. I would cry if someone ate my fries, too.

10) tortured vagina in horror films

YIKES! I know where this one came from. It’s from “So you just had a baby. Now what?”, where I said do not look at your vagina. It looks like it is straight out of a horror film: Think “Vagina Chainsaw Massacre” or “Night of the Living Labia”.
But really, who Googles this!?

11) will my bratz doll be worth something one day?

I sure as hell hope it won’t! They are awful!

12) how many winan poop on the delivery table

First of all, unless it is some sort of cultural term I’m not aware of, I’m pretty sure it is spelled “women”. Second of all, more women poop on the delivery table than you might think. Pretty sure this one was from “The Royal Baby is Coming! Do Princesses Poop on the Delivery Table?”. I set myself up there I’m sure.

Have any of you ever looked up your search terms and found some gems? I’d love it if you shared.

Don’t forget to like How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day on Facebook!

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8 thoughts on “I needed this laugh.

  1. Those search terms are sooo entertaining! Thank you for sharing!!

    All the best search terms for mine, like “a sarcastic way to ask where is my birthday present” and “cake idea for someone who is sarcastic” seem to have to do with people needing better sarcasm education. Perhaps it should be the new focus on my blog?

  2. Oh my!! I am crying from laughing so hard! That is some gooood stuff! I love someone’s google search for constipation answered but they come across a blog and say, “aww, never mind. This look good” lol!

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