“Atta girl, you get that Doctor!”

How to ruin a toddler’s day – one word. Immunizations.

Now I don’t want to get into the whole debate on whether or not you should immunize your kids. I’ve been there and done that. I work in a clinic where ex-coworkers basically chastised me at the thought of not immunizing. The end of the story is we chose to do so. End of that discussion.

My girl has a MASSIVE phobia of the doctor’s office/hospital/dentist. Basically anywhere she has to be examined. This stems, I believe, from a fall she had just shy of her first birthday. She pulled herself up on some furniture and fell forward, hitting her tooth up into her gums on the way down. A year of follow up appointments at the dentistry department of our local children’s hospital later, we are in the clear.

But holy hell did they traumatize her! Two to three people pinning her down at a time to get a look at the tooth in question.

Well there goes my kid’s trusting nature. Eff that. She’s had enough with all of you guys!

So a couple of months ago it was time for her 18 month shots. I was DREADING taking her in. I mean all kids scream, but one doctor told me she’s never seen a kid fight like her. She said she should be a “freedom fighter”. I think she tried to make me feel better about the whole thing by saying something like “Good for her. She knows what she doesn’t want and isn’t afraid to fight against it”. Yeah. That’s nice speak for “Holy crap will you just get her to sit still and be quiet so my eardrums don’t spontaneously combust?”.

So we needed a plan to get her used to the idea of needles. Enter, this kit!Doctor Kit

She LOVED IT! We practised with the needle and stethoscope most. We brought both to the office. In the waiting room, we gave her a “needle”, and she gave us one. All ok.

We entered the room. Hell breaks loose. She won’t stop fighting, so my fiance has to assume the position and hold her still to get it over with. The doctor had to take the toy needle from her. I think it was partly that he was afraid of her having anything that could potentially be used as a weapon against him. I’m telling you, she’d use anything she could!

So when all is said and done, she’s standing there with a pout on her face. He says “All done, L. You can go home now! Here’s your toy back”.

WELL OH MY GOD.

He gave her the toy needle. Payback is a bitch doc.

Didn’t she just take her little fisher price needle, get a devious little look on her face, walk over to the doc and give him one in the leg to return the favour. All you can hear is her going “he he he”. Good ol’ doc played along and said “Ouch! You got me!”.

At 18 months old, my kid has already realized the satisfaction of revenge. I’m in trouble.

 

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