I will start this off by saying, yes I breastfed my kid. I fully support it. But I weaned her for a reason…
Have you heard of these things yet? OMG, the thoughts running through my head right now. I don’t even know where to start. I’ll give it a go anyhow. I guess I’ll start with the link to the article.
That’s right folks. They are real. Holy crap.
1) It isn’t even real breast milk, but they had to emulate the flavor somehow. Enter the flavor specialists! It’s their job to get the flavor right. “With the help of some breastfeeding mothers, who “kept sharing their breast milk with our flavor specialists until we were able to candify it,”. – Guess I’m working the wrong job. Who wouldn’t want to have to taste hundreds of breast milk samples from God knows who, over and over all day long. BARF!!!
2) Seriously people. Have you ever tried to wean a kid from breastfeeding? The last thing I want to do is give her a candy that tastes like the stuff. Next thing you know, I’ll be out of lollipops, and I’ll have a screaming kid grabbing for my tits again in the grocery store. Thanks, but no thanks!
3) Newest flavor addition to Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans – Your mother’s boob milk! (Only the geeks will get it, but I’m fine with that).
4) So you’ve got these in your purse for your kid, but then your husband/fiance/brother/sister/stranger goes searching through your purse for a snack (come on Mom‘s, they all know we keep a secret stash in our bag in case our kid throws a fit somewhere and we have to bribe with food). “Mmm what kind of sucker is this? It seems familiar, but I can’t place it….”. Oh you know, that taste of childhood – your mother’s boob. BARF!
5) What are they going to name these things? Nipple nummies? Aereola delights? Mama’s Mammary Munchies? I might be throwing up a little in my mouth.
As gross as I find this, I’m secretly a little jealous I didn’t think of this idea myself. You know these people are raking in the money right now from the crunchy granola mama’s who think this is fabulous.
Where’s my nasty million dollar idea?